Notes from Hans H. Anderson

Seafood Joint happened like a lot of my stories. Something in real life happened, and I start to fantasize about how I would have reacted, or how I could have been the hero. This isn't a conscious decision, and I fear what a psychaitrist would say, but it happens a lot. For Seafood Joint, some friends of ours were moving to LA and took my family to dinner because we'd been good friends and all. We went to Red Lobster. They are black, we are white. It meant nothing to us. That was it, though, nothing else happened. The rest just popped into my head because stuff like that did (and probably does) happen. What if a racist came up and started in on my friend? Would I sit there staring at the floor? Would I punch the guy in the nose? What kind of person am I?

Garbage was just an idea to mock all of these audio diaries that you hear. I tried to think of something outrageous, and peeping through the neighbors windows or listening to their phone conversations seemed a little TOO creepy, and illegal, and honestly not all that interesting. Think about it, what do you do at home that is interesting? What do you say on the phone? But, what do you throw away? Yeah. Me, too.

Stress Test is actually 95% true, most of it really did happen, and in that order. On the way home, I started writing it down because I knew it would be interesting in the same way that some people drive to a gym two blocks away to workout. I got home, took all the notes that I had written at stop lights and typed them up, adding a few more. Then I forgot about it for a few months, needed some extra stuff to add to a CD I was making for friends, family and oh-what-the-heck: I sent the CD to a few PR outfits as well. No one was interested. Stress Test was written and voiced, but it fell flat, no energy. Then I remembered "Deviation," took another listen, and was inspired. I brought up the energy in Stress Test, tightened many of the edits and what you hear is the result. Marianne's piece, though obviously different, inspired me.

Tech Info

Technically, none of what I do is terribly challenging, mostly very time consuming. I have tons of software. I'm always looking for new stuff that will make interesting sounds, make life easier, or do things I can't. Audacity is an awesome editor, probably could save you the $1000's I've spent on audio editors over the last decade. I currently use Vegas Video (great for audio, too), FL Studio, and a really old version of Band-in-a-Box (kinda cheesy, but once-in-awhile it has the right sound, and it's so easy to use. I have a very good external sound module for it, though, or else it wouldn't sound good at all). I've used literally dozens of different programs. If you can afford Vegas, I wouldn't hesitate to buy it, even with the free Audacity on the market.

I've recorded sounds with all sorts of things... Marantz decks, cheap digital audio recorders, newer MP3 players, like Ripflash and IRiver (both are surprisingly good, but have some flaws, and you need a preamp), 8mm and miniDV cameras, etc. I have a lot of microphones, from cheap shotguns meant for the video cameras, a $20 stereo lavalierre from Radio Shack, and a then-$450 Sennheiser MD420 (good mic, and only about half that price now). I record in my walk-in closet at home, with a long mic cable running to my computer. No fan noise. Quiet.

Hans H. Anderson

About Hans H. Anderson

In my real life I'm a computer programmer -- more clearly a web page programmer and database designer. That life is coming to a close, though, as all that work is drifting to India and Romania. That's okay, those guys do a good job, charge a third of what I charge and still can live like Americans. How can you be upset about that? I'm doing my part to help spread capitalism and the American way.

Related Links

Devil's Radar:
www.thedevilsradar.com

I am working on a straight-to-audio 5 hour "audiobook" using the sound techniques; I named it "The Devil's Radar" -- chapter one is online.

Legacy Audio:
www.goofiness.com/audio
www.goofiness.com/ramblings/

My dad and I have loved Prairie Home Companion's Annual Joke show. I thought it would be fun to do those well-told jokes, like PHC, but one at a time, and in mp3 so people could hear them on the Internet. It was fun to do, but there was no revenue model. This was back before the Internet bubble burst, and so many people were giving stuff away for free you couldn't make money on anything. Maybe it would work now that the virtual world is more realistic.

Jokes are great because they are brief (usually) and have a built in punchline. I experimented a lot, and found a) I can't sing, even in a spoof b) I can't do voices c) I fiddle way too long. But, I still say turning a good joke into a good audio piece has potential. I'd like to see 2 minute video-jokes on TV, hear them on the radio.

Windsurfing Radio:
www.windsurfingradio.com

I love to windsurf, and I love radio. What better thing to do but to combine the two into Windsurfing Radio? It was/is fun, but it's too time consuming and I haven't come up with a revenue model yet. I think a lot of people don't like to listen to stuff on the Internet. I need to come up with a better distribution angle. Maybe I can burn CD's and mail them to listeners.

Hans Windsurfing:
windsurf.hansanderson.com/videos/

I don't know how long this audio stuff will last because I'm losing my hearing at an alarming rate. I've always been quite hard-of-hearing, but it's gotten worse lately. So, maybe I'll have to start writing limericks in a few years. Or, just stick with windsurfing. Here's some short videos of me.