Jonathan,

I like the way you write about this. I think you write like an honest reporter of events, with your own sensibility appropriately inserted.

I think you should keep writing -- maybe in emails to me -- about everything you saw or noticed or think. Your impressions of the whole experience, of Neal, of his co-horts and fans, of the crowds and events... everything.

I am beginning to suspect it will become our narrative thread, between bursts of Neal, who I imagine bursting, though I have never met him.

Fear not, I have a feeling this is going to be good.

Trust me, though you have never met me.

ONWARD>>>>

-J

p.s. Did you get the Cub Reporter's Kit yet? Check your mail. It's a Sony TCD-5M cassette recorder, an Electro-Voice re-50 mic w/ short cable, some cassettes and a long cable...but not a boom/stand. It would be too heavy. You can rent one, or even buy one from radio shack. But why do you need it? To record his act? You can also tape your mic to the stand that's already at the location. A stand is useless for general interviewing. You can make a boom from a long stick and use Gaffer's tape on the mic.

Jay,

All right, first report. Last night was an open mic event at this bar called Club Mesa. We met up at this sushi restaurant and had dinner with Neal's wife Regina and "Commie Girl," a columnist from the OC Weekly who helped Neal plan parts of his L.A. tour. Stories of the road and journey thus far were shared and recorded at the dinner table. Neal dived into the topic of how difficult this whole McSweeneys book publishing thing really is, that despite the appeal of doing it via this indie method, it definitely has its drawbacks. Basically the fact that seeing as how McSweeneys has never published a book before they don't know what they're doing in a lot of ways and Neal and Regina are having to just eat the cost of things right now and hope that the money comes rolling in later. I'll get him to go into that topic in depth later.

So Neal literally sells the books out of the back of his car. He's got a box full of books and a backpack and change is made out of his wallet. Last night he sold 8 books. And this was supposedly not a disappointment. Neal thought the reading went well. He relied on some of his more bawdry material for the bar crowd. "I Have Slept with 500 Women" was the biggest hit of the night. I have some fan reaction as well...people who approached Neal timidly and expressed their joy with his work.

But it was a bar, it was loud and we had little time except for when we stepped into the "smoking room" to talk in an environment that any assemblance of quiet. I'm not sure how all of this material will work out in the editing process, I know it's nearly impossible to edit when there is background noise. Don't worry though, I'll make sure we have some moments where we can have some actual quiet sit down interviews. Some of the next events will include more normal book store type events and so the recordings should be clearer and less chaotic. Neal is great though Jay, everything I would've imagined and a great subject. Even though I'm slightly intimidated to be doing a story on this scale, having it be about Neal makes me confident it'll turn out well.

If you want to talk I'm at work until 3 today. After that I'll be in and out of the house today and tomorrow.

Jonathan

Night #2: Vroman's Bookstore, Pasadena...

Met up with Neal and Regina and Neal's brother-in-law in the parking lot of Vroman's. They asked me if I had been in the store yet which I had not. Apparently the day had been one of gentility for them complete with lunch at a country club and a trip to the Huntington Gardens.

Vroman's was the cap...no,no...the fine wig that completed their image as genteel gentleman and ladies. A bookstore where Neal remarked their were more items on sale than books. Neal's reading took place in this room full of cards, stationary books, and stamps. Next door was the children's room full of stuffed animals and toys where Neal said he wished he was reading. The place stunk of cinnamon potpouri and needless to say was no Club Mesa.

The bookstore employee in charge of helping out Neal warned him that book collectors were expected to show up and that rumors were flying around that Neal was really Dave Eggers (A reporter for the San Diego Tribune made this mistake a couple of weeks ago and had a nasty response written to him by Neal's mom...details at nealpollack.com). One of those book collector types in glasses and a neatly buttoned-shirt even asked me, "I've heard that Neal Pollack is actually Dave Eggers. Is that true?" I just told him Neal was right there and he should ask him himself. It was a strange scene to witness. Like some grown-up twisted version of a comic book or a G.I. Joe figurine collector, except, not as normal as those guys.

The reading began and Neal read the introduction to his book. Lots of smiles and small laughs, but not quite enough to suit Neal. He also read "An Interview w/ My Sister Who is a Lesbian" with Stacy Keenan, former child star from "My Two Dads." Apparently they had met at the Sundance film festival where Neal was on assignment to get into as many parties as he could. Looking to spark things up, Neal began walking around the room, picking items off the shelves and describing how much he liked them, giving detailed descriptions of these awful cheesy scenes and mentioning how much they retailed for. The stamp section also fell victim to Neal as he described one stamp with an image of an overweight women with her jacket open as "The happy prostitute."

A question and answer session followed with Neal using a puppet from the kids room next door to answer questions as Dave Eggers. More questions were asked of Dave than Neal and each time, Neal performed a spot on impression of Dave answering questions and detailing how he had been transformed into a puppet after a reading in New Orleans and had to spend the rest of the tour with Neal's hand up his ass or in a drawer. Eggers gets mentioned so much and I wonder if Neal ever gets irritated. That yeah it's great to be working as part of the McSweeneys family and publishing the book in this manner, but in the end, there's this giant shadow of Eggers over him. Neal signed the about 30 books that were purchased, writing funny, specific lines in each one and then wearing the puppet to sign the books as Dave Eggers. Neal suggested Stacy and his brother-in-law sign books. Stacy signed almost everyone's book with, "Stacy Keenan: Neal's sister who is a lesbian." Neal's brother-in-law signed three.

I'm not sure that this crowd, a supposed more literate and educated crowd got the work much more than the crowd at Club Mesa did. There were more nods and smiles this time around, but you have to wonder if people are partly into Neal because of the McSweeneys connection and the marker of hipness attached to that instead of the plain fact that he wrote this really funny book full of this intelligent criticism of the world that Vroman's stood for. Neal says he doesn't care if people get it at this point, he doesn't have time to worry about that.

Neal wants me to follow him to Arizona with him and meet his parents. He's reading at his old high school with his mom. It would surely make for an interesting addition to the story. I have enough money with the check you sent to cover the $90 flight back but I'd want to get your approval before I spent you money that way.

Jonathan

Day #3...Venice Beach, CA

Though I have come to expect it at this point, I'm still amazed at how fly by the seat of your pants this whole tour is planned out. I told Regina how remarkable it was that all of these readings have turned out so different, different audiences, different levels of readiness. And she said yes, they've all been different. And it's making Neal really tired. It's like a six week long improv show with little room to stop and take a breath. Not only are they doing their work on their own, but the tour is so much of an experiment that I sort of imagining them collapsing when it's all over in a week.

So at Venice, Neal met up with another person he had met via e-mail who was helping him with this portion of the tour. She had promised to deliver a weightlifter for a demonstration and deliver she did. At first it seemed a little scary. No weightlifter was willing. The guy responsible for monitoring the weightlifting area was unsure what Neal was all about, saw my recording equipment and started saying that we needed a permit to be in the area. With a total of about 3 people there for the reading at the time it was scheduled to start, things did not look good.

Neal ensured the Venice employee we were all completely harmless, a weightlifter was found, and about 25 people showed up. Neal did his now standard intro, "My name is Neal Pollack. I'm the author of The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature, the inaugural book from McSweeneys press." Weightlifting ensued along with discussion of technique and accompaniment was provided by King Kukelele, a local ukulele player and performance artist who has attended all of Neal's readings so far. Neal asked if there were any questions and a black homeless man in the crowd asked, "I wanna know where my forty acres and a mule is at" and started heckling Neal accusing him of writing a book full of white supremacy. Neal diffused the situation and the reading began.

He read from "My Life at Sea" and the crowd as always is the case was all smiles. Neal asked at one point if anyone had any water and a homeless stoner kid in the audience quickly dashed off and returned with a bottle of water within one short minute. Neal offered to pay for the water, but the guy refused. After the reading was over, Neal insisted and the guy asked for $1 for the water and $10 for the pot he was going to buy. Neal gave him a dollar and Regina gave him one more. The fellow who had earlier been accusing Neal of being a racist sat at the front of the audience smiling wide the entire reading and thanking Neal at the end for making him laugh so much his side hurt.

Neal says these are the kind of people he hangs out with all the time, the sort of people he calls friends in Chicago. And I believe him. More and more it is becoming apparent that Neal is not some wild Neal Cassidy type figure but just a really nice intelligent guy who is trying to do some good in this world. It sounds so cheesy to say but it's true. The whole point of the book is too lampoon bad journalism and I know it's because Neal cares, and wants people written about in an intelligent and honest way.

Oh yeah...he sold about 20 books and unless he can convince the people at the next bookstore reading to lend him a box, he's only got three for the reading in Vegas. We'll see what happens.

Jonathan

Tonight is a reading in Santa Monica and then it's off to Vegas tomorrow. Tempe is Mon. night and Scottsdale on Tues afternoon. I'll be out of contact email-wise on those days. But I'll keep writing these daily reports as if I were sending them to you on email.

I've attached a sound file...part of the thing at Venice just to give you an idea of what's going on. I have no idea if this will be used but it might give you an idea of what's going on. The sound quality is bad cause I have some problem with the sound program I haven't been able to figure out. The tapes themselves sound clear. Let me know what you think.

Jonathan

Jay,

All right I've got time for one more report before we take off today...

Last night was really just a standard reading. It took place in Midnight Special, this lefty independent bookstore that is one of the few interesting places left on the largely corporate 3rd St. Promenade. The evening opened with some friends of Neal's performing a parody of 50's advice manuals. They were very well dressed conservative women claiming to be the authors of a book entitled, "How to Marry the Man of Your Dreams" or something like that. Even with the dangerous inclusion of domestic abuse jokes the piece was clever enough to work well.

Neal than took the podium with a copy of Rolling Stone in hand. Neal drew everyone's attention to the cover of the mag which featured a manly looking Al Gore with a larger than the average crotch. "It is Easy to Take a lover in Cuba" and "The Burden of Internet Celebrity" by request. A question and answer session was dominated by planted hecklers, one who asked Neal "Survivor" related questions and Shilo, the woman I first met at Club Mesa accused him of impregnating her.

But the interesting part of the evening came afterwards at the party that was supposed to occur at this very L.A. restaurant "More" just a few blocks from Midnight Special. Dana, who had set up both the event at Venice Beach and in Santa Monica had miscalculated exactly how long the reading would last and hadn't booked a room until 10:00, nearly half an hour after we were there. While waiting in line for ice cream, Neal called his Mom and Dad and told them for the first time that I would be coming along. And so, according to the pattern of Neal's life that has become apparent at this point, we stood outside. Stood outside eating a cheese plate and garlic-soaked olives. Not at all glamorous I tell you.

Once inside, we cleared out the birthday party full of Banana Republic well to do L.A. types and enjoyed some drinks. The highlight of the event, radio story-wise, came when Neal invited these fans at the party to bring their instruments into the restaurant. They had been and the reading in Venice and had told Neal about their band. So with an acoustic guitar and small drum in hand, "We Are Scientists" performed a modified version of their song "Mothra Vs. We Are Scientists" with a rocking version of "Neal Pollack Vs. We Are Scientists." It is going in the story in some manner, I guarantee. And oh yeah, then Christopher Penn showed up and sang some songs with the band. Crazy stuff I tell you.

All right off to Vegas. And yeah, I wouldn't mind narrating the story...it should be fun.

Jonathan

Jay,

Well, I have returned safely from the wilds of the Southwest unscathed but with a damn good story. There are far too many details to lay out here. Don't worry, I kept recording, kept writing.

Las Vegas was all it should be, Neal running around like an excited child and concerned father at the same time. After two 99 cent margaritas Neal's reading in his hotel room almost resulted in him taking his clothes off. Regina stopped him and instead only a shirt came off. The four other people in the room didn't seem to mind at all.

We had lots of discussions in the long car rides to Vegas and Phoenix and Neal and Regina engaged in the type of fights that come after 2 months on the road together.

Monday and Tuesday was the big homecoming, meeting Neal's parents and friends and returning to his alma mater, Saguaro High. The kids he spoke to in classes were extremely enthralled and many books were sold.

I also met tons of people who are anxious to hear my story when it's done. I know transom.org will have its own publicity machine but I can guarantee a big audience will come from the wacky assemblage of people that are McSweeneys fans.

Now comes the real work. I have a real idea how the piece will work but things should really come to life in the next week as I log the tape. Can you send me a sample script? I have a vague idea of what they're supposed to look like, but if there is an established format, I'd like to work within that.

Thank you again and again Jay. I had the time of my life...really.

If you have any concerns at this point, please let me know.

Jonathan

Jay,

I have a vague idea about the beginning and ending. Basically the way I perceived Neal in the beginning and then discovering who he was and what he was really all about. And I think I wrote the end of the script at the airport waiting for my plane home after talking to Neal's dad Bernie who basically thinks the book is no big deal. Neal's parents put me up when I was in Phoenix so the money you already sent me was enough to cover all the costs of the trip.